A Life Of Fiction CXLI

For those of you new to this WordPress site, this site is about me and my writing – and a little about my role-playing, as well. It gives readers a chance to sample my work; and gives me the chance to say a little about the genesis of each novel, or about the process of writing in general.

At My Lowest Ebb: For some reason I feel at my lowest mental and literary ebb at this particular time, for which I apologise in advance. Those who follow this blog many have noticed that some of my posts have been a little dark in theme. This is another such post. So, to spare you hundreds of words of me moaning about life, I’ll try to make this post shorter than normal. Hopefully I will think of something more interesting for CXLII.

The current projects on which I am working are all a long way away from completion; and I cannot seem to do more than a few hundred words a day on any one thing at the moment. By working on several I manage to get up to my target of three thousand words per day. Slowly I push them towards completion. But it feels like a Sisyphean task. I can’t even think of ideas for this website – which is unusual for me.

But I will keep writing. Perhaps I will try to write a little poetry, of the sort too depressing to publish. I find that writing poetry can be a way to help exorcise the darkness inside me. I tattoo my misery onto paper, and it is no longer inside me.

Travesties of fractured lives riven with despair

Cling to fading hope like drowning sailors

Waiting to see the farthest shore

But forever marooned on that darkest ocean

Beyond the rising sun.

An instant fragment of a bad poem which will never be published, composed in the time that it takes to press the computer keys (but I am a slow typist). Yet by putting down that depressing doggerel I bring a grin to my face, mainly because it is so bad. And those words are no longer trapped inside me: therapy through words. Which I suppose is something which I have been doing for the past twelve years or so.

There is one good thing, I suppose, and that is that the only way is up.


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