For those of you new to this WordPress site, this site is about me and my writing – and a little about my role-playing, as well. It gives readers a chance to sample my work; and gives me the chance to say a little about the genesis of each novel, or about the process of writing in general.
Loss: Some time ago one of my very close friends, Brian Grove, passed away. As you are reading this he will have been dead for many months. But that is only because I have had a backlog of these posts to put on WordPress. I put them on in the order that I wrote them.
Right at this moment I feel like giving up, as far as the writing is concerned. Hopefully that feeling will pass. At the time, though, I am in a miasma of inaction, where I have to force myself to write, and where none of my current projects feel all that appealing to me. Writing steampunk or gaslamp fantasy tales feel ephemeral at the moment, if you know what I mean. The one thing which I have been working on is a series of letters to Brian Grove, to try and put my thoughts down on paper, and get some of this sorrow out of my system. I have also wanted to record down what I can remember about my friend, before I begin to forget stuff about him. So far I have written about sixty odd short letters to my dead friend. But even that is running out of steam, at around some thirty thousand words. Maybe I have already said everything which I want to say, and I should wind up that collection of letters and move back to other projects, and try to finish them off. Maybe by the time that you are reading these words I will have already put those letters on Kindle. Or maybe I will never ever publish them. I haven’t decided yet.
Like me Brian Grove was a writer. But he was one who got a proper publisher to publish his book, The Treasure Hunter’s Handbook. If you are interested in becoming a treasure hunter then I know that you can find the book on Amazon. There are some really interesting chapters in the book. I think that my favourite was the one on gold. So go and pick it up and honour my dead friend.
I feel as though I should have stronger feelings of loss, and I feel almost guilty for not mourning more. But I’m not sure that it has completely sunk in yet. I still can’t believe that I am never going to have another drink with him.
The only thing to have come out of this loss is that project called Seventy Letters to Brian Grove, in which I write to him about our relationship, and I try to recall some of his views on life, his likes and dislikes. That project is now complete. I suppose that it is a coping mechanism. I may release it on Kindle, one day, although I cannot really imagine that many people would like to read it.
Anyway, enough on the depressing matter of death. The next post will be called After NaNoWriMo.